I'm Gonna Move On, And It'll Be In Your Arms
by LittleMissHardCorre
Summary: A prequel of sorts to How You Remind me, but can be read as a stand alone. And there is a little bit of Ryan comfort at the end. Its my first happy ending, so be nice! Contains rape and slash, you have been warned. Dont Like? Dont read.


This is a more in depth look at what happened to Ryan, and the start of his recovery! It is sort of a prequel/sequel to How You Remind Me and Help Me Forget but I guess it could be read as a stand alone. I might post more chapters but it will probably be a one shot.

"David please!" I begged as he dragged me back to the car. I knew he was pissed; he always got like this when I got attention. It didn't matter that I never reciprocated it. I just had to receive it to get his anger flowing. He never hit me, but God he was always so rough. It was like he was trying to claim me. And I hated it. I hated getting intimate with him. I always felt so dirty afterwards, but what could I do?

He shoved me inside the car and got in on the drivers side. He was so quiet; I hated it when he got quiet like this. It scared me more than his screaming did. Silence means thinking. Thinking means planning. And in David's case? Planning means pain. I can hardly bear to look at him, but I force myself to raise my eyes, and quickly regret it. I was expecting anger, fury, something. But his stare was blank. And that was so much more terrifying than any emotion I'd ever seen displayed on his face.

We quickly pulled up to the apartment we shared. He got out and walked to the door, so I followed. I was expecting him to slam me against the door as he always does, but instead he told me to go to bed.

"Are you coming?" I asked, thinking I already knew the answer.

"No, I'm gonna stay up for a while. I don't really feel like going to bed right now." This shocked me, usually by now he'd already have me bent over the couch, but I didn't argue. Instead I retreated to our room, intent on sleeping whilst I was permitted so. I quickly got changed and crawled into bed, ignoring the nagging feeling that something wasn't right, and quickly felt into a restless sleep.

I groaned, feeling something heavy set itself on my stomach. My eyes flew open when I felt a pair of teeth sink themselves into my chest. I looked down to see the top if David's head, and tried to push him off, but my arms wouldn't move. It took me a minute to realise why. I felt cold metal biting into my wrists, and looked up to see them bound to the headboard via hand cuffs.

"David, what the hell are you doing? Get off!" I yelled. He ignored me. Panic quickly set in. I didn't want this, and he wasn't stopping. It didn't take long to realise, tonight was the night. Tonight was when he was going to cross the very thin line between rough sex and rape. Because I know tonight I'm going to say no. And that thought almost kills me inside, because I know when I do, he's not going to stop.

During my horrific thoughts I failed to notice his teeth leaving my chest, but I soon realised, when I felt him rubbing against my entrance. I howled in pain as he shoved into me wholly in one painful thrust, the only lubricant was the blood now running down my thighs, matching the pace of the tears falling free from my eyes.

"No!" He continued thrusting, ignoring my pleas.

"Please!" His thrusting gained speed, I knew he was getting closer, but I couldn't help my self crying out one last time, in a fit of desperation.

"Stop!" He exploded inside me, and I cried out as he roughly pulled out. I could feel his release dripping down my thighs, mixing with the blood, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I turned my head and silently wept into the pillow, and pulled my arms to my body and he finally released them from their binding. I curled into a ball and sobbed quietly, as he dressed and left the room, leaving me alone to cry as I mourned at the lose of whatever innocence, dignity and pride I had left.

"They caught him about a week later; they had enough evidence to convict him. He lasted about two months before his cell mate stabbed him in his sleep. I can't say I lost any sleep over it though" I finished.

For the first time that night, I looked up into those deep, chocolate eyes I often found my self lost in. Eric might look like David, but God his eyes were so different. They were warm and kind, full of love, unlike David's cruel, cold eyes, which only ever held lust or anger. Eric's eyes were beautiful. And looking into them, I found my self easily remembering this isn't the man that hurt me. This is the man that's holding me in his arms, listening to my story, not judging me for it. And it all suddenly seemed so easy.

I reached up to gently cup his cheek, and slowly leaned in until my lips met his, in a painfully gentle kiss. I let my eyes slip shut momentarily, as I traced my tongue over his lips before pulling back to look into those beautiful eyes once more.

"What does this mean?" He whispered, in a gentle but hopeful voice.

"It means I wanna give us a try, but I need you to understand Eric, there are something's I'm not ready for, and I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it." I wanted this so badly, but I knew I'd never be able to forgive either of us if I let myself go any farther. I'm nowhere near ready for it, and I needed him to understand that.

"I understand, we can go at whatever pace you're comfortable with. I just want to hold you. I don't care about anything else."

I couldn't hear anything except pure honesty in his words, and I felt my heart melting all over again. I know I won't make some miraculous recovery over night. But its ok. Because when I get better, he'll be there to love me, and in the mean time? He'll be there to hold me. And for the first time in almost three years, I finally found myself at peace. Who knew it'd be in Eric's arms?

A/N: I'm sorry to all those waiting for the next chapter of Hell, I'll try and update as soon as I can! I promise!

Please R&R! CC is welcome, Flamers can kiss my slash loving ass!


End file.
